********************************************************
We got to the vigil in the afternoon... i brought some girls to play at the park, and i brought my heart, heavy with questions to that street corner where i have learned that He is faithful to meet with me.
i ache for all involved. For that poor man i saw carrying garbage bags from the back of the facility, for the taxi drivers who come to pick up those women who have come here alone, for the ones who stepped out in faith to organize a vigil in our city - and sustain negativity from without - and even from within.
Oh, Father - i'm so weak and ignorant. i have so much to learn. It's bigger than i thought it was, and the battle - that wages not against flesh and blood - is so much more sophisticated than this 35 year old stay at home mom.
My understanding comes so slowly. Teach me, teach me, teach me...
i get home, and i hide in my husband's office. i bow my head and let the tears fall.
In my honesty, i look at the ugliness that abounds, and give words to the things that try to make me run.
i want to be liked. But what i have to say... it's so hard to hear. There will be persecution for speaking truth.
i'm so ignorant. But i refuse to stay there. i want to learn, i want to grow - and i'm willing to do whatever it takes to hear His voice.
i'm such a coward. But now that i see it, i can't hide behind it any longer. God is faithful - and He will help me to obey, even when my flesh wants to shush truth - He'll help me proclaim it.
My husband looks at me questioningly.
"i'm so tired, babe..." i say wiping the tears from my eyes.
"But it's not over."
You are doing an amazing job, letting God work through you like this. I am not sure when the next vigil is, but I would love to commit to coming down to Calgary even just for a few days to help support you and the other ladies. My heart is so full of all sorts of emotions as I read this blog. Thank you!
ReplyDeletewe don't have the exact dates for the fall vigil yet - but it will be around the end of September - start of November... i have been *so* encouraged by the people who have traveled to join us from out of town - it's a beautiful picture when there are so many traveling from out of town to have abortions at this clinic - to see believers willing to travel that same distance to come and pray and be a peaceful presence speaking out. We'd love to have you!!
ReplyDelete