Saturday, March 10, 2012

Day 18 - momma heart

i have this memory. Cai was really little like maybe 3 or 4? i had the three little girls & we lived in Sexsmith, Alberta. There were a lot of parks there & we usually went to the 2 that were closer to our house. Sometimes, when we felt like a little hike, we'd go to the one that was a little farther from our house. i remember that's the park we went to that day.
Right when we got there, Cai found a little dolly. Her fabric body was torn & her plastic limbs chewed through. She was completely covered in mud ~ & looked like she had been left there in the rain. She had no clothes on & looked a mess. i remember seeing Cai's face when she saw her. She caught her breath & said, "mommy!" i remember thinking, "Oh, Cai, don't touch that. It's so dirty & gross." But, i also remember a check in my spirit & i just watched what she did.

Cai was so gentle with that little plastic baby replica.

She gently rubbed her plastic face with wet grass to get the dirt off. She picked grass and made a little mound for the babe to lie on and covered her body with grass and leaves.
i don't remember her crooning and talking to the baby... Maybe she understood that it was too late.
In my little daughter, i saw the mothers heart that society seems bent on obliterating.
Maybe i was extra sensitive to this little scene played out before me because it seemed so familiar. i remember when i delivered my son, only 16 weeks into my pregnancy, that Neil didn't want to hold him. i remember holding his little broken body & counting fingers and toes. i remember trying to be gentle with the body of the little one who God had formed in the secret place... & i remember when the nurse wanted to take him away, not being able to let go of his dear little frame.
What is it about our world that has allowed mothers to see their little ones as disposable? Or worse, their little bodies as commodities? (i know it's hard to fathom, but my sister sent me this link that is pretty clear...)
i was thinking about this today & realizing that our abortion laws can't & won't change until our hearts do.

1 comment:

  1. I love seeing that "Mama heart" in little girls. (Especially my own daughter) Even at a very young age it's so obvious that this need to "nurture and tenderly care for" is built right into the core of who we are as women.

    I have to admit that the link you posted hurt every part of this mama heart. You are right...our hearts desperately need to change.

    Soften us....O God!