I was working as an ER nurse and boasting a cute 6 month belly, and a 'kinda-sorta' friend was a patient in the 24-hr observation room. I was expecting the usual pregnancy small talk and questions, which came, but what I wasn’t expecting was her response to my answers, “Oh really?! I was due on the 11th just 4 days before you.”
“I’m so sorry” I said as a wave of grief and sadness washed over me for this young Mom, assuming I would hear that a miscarriage had robbed her body of a wee life.
But what I heard was a matter of fact, shrug of the shoulder reply, “Ya,I just couldn’t deal with that right now. Not with all the drama that is happening in my life. And I wasn’t even 100% sure who the father was.”
Then like a high school secret she added “but don’t tell anyone...I’m telling you because I knew you could relate after losing your baby," referring to my stillborn son.
I tried not to let the shock and disgust show on my face as I stumbled over my thoughts and words. Angry that she would compare our situations! In disbelief over what she did!
But then I saw it. A tiny glimmer of guilt, pain and regret flashed in her eyes.
I don’t know what I said. I offered some sort of standard comfort and encouragement and left the room with flushed cheeks and an ache in my heart.
Aching for my lost son.
Aching for this wrongfully lost child.
Aching for this lost mom.