Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Day 15 - what would you say? PART 1

This is part one of a two part series.  Please come check out the second piece tomorrow - you won't want to miss it.  These are sure good ones to share...

by fawne

I grew up in a sheltered home. It was good. I felt safe. Protected. Secure. My parents talked to my siblings and me about the injustices prevalent in our world....including abortion.....but not often. However, they lived what they believed and the truth that "life is sacred from the moment of conception".....well, let's just say it came through loud and clear.
I married my best friend just 2 months shy of my 25th birthday and at that time I had firm beliefs about abortion and birth control. But I hadn't had to live out my beliefs. My life was pretty perfect. It wasn't that I'd never had to walk through any difficulties. I had. But I had not been faced with any difficult "sanctity of life" issues. I'd never been forced to stand up for truth. I'd never talked to an abortionist. I'd never thought much about standing on the corner of a street to pray....for the unborn...for life and justice.....for the hurting fathers and broken mamas. It simply wasn't a part of my world. And if we aren't faced head on with an's pretty easy to become apathetic and pretend that it isn't happening. So although I was strongly against abortion I didn't dwell on the fact that thousands of babies were being killed every year. It was pretty easy to shut myself off to "that part" of evil that is taking place in our world today. It was pretty easy to focus on making my little world pleasant and lovely.

Then, one happened.

I sat in a hospital room across from a man who talked to me about abortion.
He promised me that I would never have to "deal with" what had just happened to me. Ever. Again.
He promised that my future pregnancies would be screened......screened to detect any abnormalities, deficiencies or brokenness.
He promised that should I ever conceive another handicapped baby we would "catch it" before birth and abort it....we would snuff out life--without hesitation.
Then we wouldn't have to deal with it...a broken baby..... pain... embarrassment.... suffering.... hospital visits, surgeries, feeding tubes and changing the dirty diapers of a full grown boy.

You see....the man who sat across from me in that hospital room was the genetic doctor at the Children's Hospital. He made these promises right after he told my husband and I that the tiny baby boy I had just given birth to was not whole.....that he had a rare disorder.....that he would probably die before he was three years old.

I had never felt pain like that before. To be told that I would watch my son die....that he would suffer. All my dreams for him.....for us....were that single hour at the foot of his hospital bed. I felt numbness, yet agony. My heart was full of questions but my tongue would not.....could not....articulate. I felt I must be in a terrible nightmare. It wasn't until the doctor told us that we could abort any future babies with this syndrome that I felt a spark of life....a "coming out" of the nightmare I'd suddenly found myself in.
I didn't care if my son was "broken." I loved him. Fiercely. And yet this doctor spoke of him like garbage. Flippantly. As if to's too bad we didn't detect this sooner....we could have taken care of this problem.

It's been nearly six years since I sat across the room from this doctor. I wish I had known then....what I know now. I wish....even in my pain....I'd had the wisdom....the courage to stand up for truth. I wish I had said something about the beauty of life....even an imperfect life.
Aren't we all imperfect in some way or another? Aren't we all broken? Haven't we all caused trouble or pain for someone? Is life worth so little? Do we simply kill anyone who might bring us pain or trouble? Do we snuff out life simply because it's inconvenient or unplanned or not exactly perfect? Are we the ones who decide whether a life is to be lived? Who of us decides it? If our mothers believed this--would any of us be here today? Once we start down this slippery slope....who of us is safe? If our tiniest....most fragile people....the very life we carry inside of us isn't safe.....who is? If our very own flesh....the baby who has the same lifeblood in his veins as I myself do....if this wee one isn't safe from death....who is? How dare we....a supposedly civilized society kill the most innocent of people. How dare we....we who have "come so far" in intelligence murder humanity at its most tender, fragile stage of life.

God forgive us, your people, for our apathy. Forgive us for sitting back and "shutting up" (even if it's in the name of love) while these little ones are being killed at an alarming rate. Give us courage to take a stand for truth....whether it's on our knees, on a street corner, in our churches or to our government. We need a miracle.

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