by kalli - of knitsprout
I have often picked a necklace or pendant to represent something meaningful that is going on in my life at that time. These ones were chosen for me. The two flowers in bud are me & my sister, journeying together through a new season of wonder and life through Christ. Lisa gave it to me last spring, when God took me through a new season of mourning.
I was struck with a sense of loss and sadness one Sunday morning last May. A ministry team of 18-23 year olds were visiting our church, sharing their passionate vision for the love of God to be communicated to the world as they themselves came to an understanding of what it means to be loved and nurtured into their destinies in Christ. God brought to mind one missing member of this generation- a little one whose life I had chosen to end back at age 17, through the quiet and secretive, yet devastating choice of abortion.
Though gratefully I have known for a long time that I've been forgiven, redeemed and healed of this horrible choice for many years now, I grieved afresh the loss of what would have been my 20 year old child as I realized the timing of a missed birthday. My loving Father reminded me In His tender way that the choice I made, in my fearful and unknowing state, would not be wasted.
A couple days later, I asked Him for a name, and He gave me "Shekinah Grace". Grace that comes with His "indwelling glory." Christ in me- love & grace.
I also was given the image of a dove, which spoke to me of His grace & freedom- a release of burdens and sadness, and an assurance of the covering of His wings over me and my family. I added this dove pendant to my chain, one that my dear friend Chloe gave to me many years ago. "In the shadow of His wings" is where I choose to abide, choose to rest, choose to remember and choose to be thankful. And as Al & I continue to embrace the abundant life Christ has given us, we give thanks that He brings us more. And we joyfully welcome another sweet blessing to our family, due to join us fully April 26, 2010.
This was a post I wrote just over two years ago. It was the first time I went "fully public" with my own story of abortion. It remains a tender place, for sure. A story I have desired that God would fully use for His purposes, for His glory. As I remain in that abiding place of the shadow of His wing, He directs my paths...and here I am. Sharing my story as He leads, with the gifts of an amazing husband who shows me grace everyday, and 7 beautiful kids.
For today- I feel like what I want to give full testimony to is the unrelenting, tender, faithful love of God. I feel the tears fill my eyes as I write that. Who am *I* to deserve such love? I am completely unworthy. I have NOT got what I deserved...in fact, I have had the blessings of abundant life & health poured out upon me. And that helpless feeling of "HOW do I possibly receive this?" is the absolute joy that comes from the bewildering, crazy, upside-down pursuit of God towards us.
Do you know that YOU are His favorite one? Do you know that there is nothing you can do to escape his love?
Today, as we offer up our prayers as part of 40 Days, I am reminded again and again to remain in that place of abiding rest. The peace that comes from remaining in Him, the joy that comes from carrying a yoke that is easy and a burden that is light. As we lean harder into Him and enjoy the depth of His love for us, our prayers will pierce the darkness and allow the light of His glory to shine fully into this dark place. Our faces will shine with His love. The enemy can not dwell in this place and must flee!
Today I pray that the indwelling presence of God- His Shekinah Glory- leaks all over the the sidewalks of the prayer vigils across the nations! Christ in us! The HOPE of glory! Share a smile, do not despair. We know what's on the other side. As we are willing to get our hands dirty in the messiness of our world, remain in that place of rest, by the power of His Spirit. He makes all things beautiful...in His time.