This battle we face--the fight for life--is often hard and lonely and even downright discouraging at times. I stand on the small space of sidewalk across from the abortion clinic and wonder if my prayers are doing one single thing. Often, there is no evidence of change. Despite my begging prayers that this woman, the next woman, the woman after her, will not open that door and walk inside...most of the time the door still opens and shuts behind her. I am across the street and cannot hear the dull thud of it closing...but I do not need to be over there to feel it right down to my core. Bang. Another death. Bang. Another defeat. Bang. Another loss.
The other day you gathered....those of you who ache to see abortion end....
And you worshiped God together.....
And shared the joys you have experienced and the change you have seen through prayer.
And I witnessed your faithfulness...and today as I sit and pound out words I think about twelve men who are a lot like you.
These men were asked to go on a mission. Is it not the same with you? With me? Hasn't God asked us to go on a mission for the unborn? To be a voice? To intercede with prayer? To plead for justice and to show love and mercy? Did you begin this mission with zeal and excitement?
These twelve men did. They charged into their "calling" and were faithful for 40 days. 40 DAYS! And then ten of them stopped focusing on the greatness of God and started focusing on the seemingly insurmountable walls of the enemy. (Numbers 13, 14)
Can you relate to that feeling? I sure can.
Sometimes I want to quit. I don't want the weight on my shoulders anymore. I don't want to pray without seeing results any longer. The wall I am asked to scale seems to high. The burden I'm called to bear feels too heavy. I cannot see the greatness of God anymore because I'm focused on the impossible-ness of the mission.
I have forgotten who my God is. I have quickly forgotten the way He rescued me from my enemy. I have forgotten that I use to be in BONDAGE but now I am FREE. I have forgotten the miracles, the parting of the Red Sea, the manna on the ground and the water gushing from the rock.
And here....in this hard place....this place of decision....what will I do? Will I choose to believe that the God who sent me on this mission is accomplishing His purpose or will I only see the clinic door as it opens and shuts....yet again?!
I want to be a Joshua. I want to be a Caleb. I want to believe, to be fully confident that the God who sends people on missions (whether it is to spy out a land or whether it is to pray for a miracle across the street from an abortion clinic)....this God, is the God of the impossible.
Last Saturday, I saw some Calebs and some Joshuas....and I take courage from their example. The "walls" we attempt to scale may be high. The enemy we fight against may be strong. But all my fears and insecurities crumble in the presence of the great I AM!